Are adjectives the enemy of the writer?

Duff (2010) freely available from PhotoBucket

 

The sun sunk in seconds, shimmering and hesitating just above the still waters before it disappeared for the evening.  As it faded it cast its apricot hues through the clouds which hovered low in the sky.

or

A beautiful sunset

Hello Grammophiles

An oft used adage in journalism is that the adjective is the enemy of the writer.  (Voltaire said they were the 'enemy of the noun'; Hemingway said they were the 'weak writer's crutch'.)

For example, I could say 'it's a splendidly gorgeous day today'  (which it is in Adelaide on this December day).   Alternatively, I could say 'the sun is warming my shoulders, glancing off the footpath and illuminating the leaves on the trees'.

Of course, used sparingly and effectively, adjectives can add colour and cleverness to the writing (as indicated by my esteemed colleague Brady, below).  

In academic writing, adjectives can be florid and over-the-top, weakening a set of data or a rational argument.

For example, 'numerous authors argue...'  is weaker than 'Smith (2000), Jones (2003) and Brown (2005) argue...

How does this:

'Smith's (2000) findings were a notable example of how millions of families use social technology.'

Compare with this:

'Smith's (2000) study of 150 households across three continents suggested children between the age of 13 and 18 preferred the use of Facebook, while their parents still tended to use email.'

Which paper, do you think, will attract more marks?

Can you think of more examples where actions speak louder  than words (as the old saying goes)?

Andrea

All Too General

Greetings Grammophiles!

After a semi-hiatus due to hip surgery and the birth of my first child (a son!), I have found my way back to the wild world of English grammar. Today's post has less to do with grammar proper and more to do with word choice and style. Stringing words together in an acceptable order is one thing, but it is quite another to know which words create the best sentences and, ultimately, the best arguments. As a general rule, the more general a word is, the less meaning it conveys. "Many" does not have the same mathematical force as "hundreds," nor does "have" express as much as emotional attachment as "possess."

General words exist in all parts of speech, and it's nearly impossible to avoid them all the time (nor should you). There are general verbs, adjectives, and even nouns. Here, I am not advocating that you spice up your prose by using obscure synonyms from a dictionary. The meaning of "manifold" is just as general as "many." The purpose of this post is to remind you to do some thinking about what exactly you are trying to say and then to think about how to say it in the most concrete, non-abstract way possible.

Verbs
In earlier posts, I have already discussed ways to avoid general verbs. The main culprits are "do-everything" verbs such as "to be," "to do," and "to have." Another verb that writers often overlook is "to talk." Using "talk" in reference to what someone says does little to express how the person said it. Think of the phrases, "talk is cheap"; "just talking"; and "talk, talk, talk." All of these phrases suggest that whatever is being said is relatively insignificant. If you are looking for verbs to express human speech, focus on what the speaker is doing with his or her words rather than the fact that he or she is speaking. One example may be: "In her History lesson, Mrs. Ferguson connected America's founding history with Rome's."

Adjectives
I have already touched on the perils of using "many." As an instructor, I often see "many"-based sentence in introductory paragraphs. Sentences such as, "Many believe that oranges taste better in warm weather," provide little support to an overall argument. In fact, such general sentences often lead readers to ask more questions about the merits of the argument. How "many" believers are there, and how did this writer discover their opinions? In short, any time you can quantify, itemize, or categorize who or what you are talking about, you are well on your way to avoiding the trap of generality. This is why "hundreds" is so much better than "many." Here is a list of other general adjectives that are worth avoiding:

many, few, some, other, any, all, every

Nouns
When thinking about style, writers often overlook the negative impact that general nouns have on their writing. In this sense, using "something" is as good as saying nothing at all, because "something" specifically expresses an unknown quantity. I often see generalities appear in reference to people or groups of people. Even the word, "people," identifies absolutely no one in particular. Instead of "people," try to be more specific about your subjects. These "people" might actually be university students, coffee drinkers, or SUV drivers. Think about exactly who it is you want to write about and leave the people alone. Other examples include

persons, everyone, no one, these, kids, individuals, persons

Happy writing!
Brady Spangenberg

Style Tips: Avoiding Over-Nominalization

Hello grammophiles. With only four weeks left until final exams, the semester is coming to a close at Purdue. Many of my recent sessions with clients at the Writing Lab have touched on strategies for improving sentence structure. Sometimes, even if all of your sentences are grammatically correct, they can still read a little "clunky." It is as if the writer goes through a series of wordy gymnastics and still doesn't get his or her point across.

An overuse of nominalizations is one major cause of "clunkiness." Nominalizations are nouns that have been created from adjectives or verbs; some examples include,

-- influence, evaluation, understanding, clarity, or [my current favorite] receptivity

Though these words carry do much of the same work as verbs or adjectives, they must be handled as nouns. In practice, this often means that your sentences will feature many more prepositions, helping verbs, and passive constructions, all of which tend to slow down your sentences and confuse your readers. Here are two over-nominalized sentences:

--An evaluation was undertaken as an investigation of the process by which sentences are formed. (3 nominalizations: evaluation, investigation, and process)

--The impression left by the judge was stern in his call for strengthening the regulation and arbitration of workplace disputes. (5 nominalizations)

Revision Strategies
Fixing nominalizations can be a difficult process, especially when it seems like there is no other way to say what you mean. The best advice is to turn your nominalizations into verbs. Instead of saying, "an evaluation was undertaken," say "we evaluated." Instead of saying, "the impression left by the judge," why not write, "the judge sternly announced." If you are having trouble with this, you may want to ask yourself this question:

-- What is the main action of the sentence? What really happens?

If the answer to this question cannot be found in the verb of your sentence but rather in one of its nouns, then you have some work to do. My friend and OWL Coordinator Allen Brizee often refers to the Paramedic Method, which was first developed by Richard Lanham. This method directly addresses issues relating to nominalizations as well as inexpressive verbs (such as "be" -- see my last post). For more on the Paramedic Method, here is a link to the OWL:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/635/01/

As always, good luck to all, and keep the interesting comments coming!

Brady Spangenberg

*Borrowed from http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Verb.jpg


Principal Parts of a Verb

Verbs are usually identified by their four principal parts: the infinitive, the present participle, the past tense form, and the past participle. The infinitive is considered the "base form" of the verb because it serves as the stem for other forms of the verb. In English, the infinitive is constructed with the preposition "to" followed by the base form of the verb (a verb without the "to" is sometimes called the "bare infinitive"). If a verb is a phrasal verb, which means it takes a preposition afterwards, the preposition is also included in the infinitive.

infinitives: to make, to be, to speak out

The present participle is created by adding "-ing" to the stem or base form. The present participle is also sometimes called the "active" or "progressive" participle. Because the present participle is almost always formed in the same way, by adding "-ing" to the base form, some manuals will omit the present participle as a principal part.

present participles: making, being, speaking out

The past tense form is the form the verb takes in the third person singular. Some verbs follow a pattern in the past tense by adding "-ed" to the base form; these are called weak verbs. Other verbs do not follow a pattern and actually change by modifying the spelling of the base form; these are called strong verbs.

past tense forms: made, was, spoke out

The past participle is usually the same as the past tense form, except with some strong verbs. In contrast to the present participle, which only has active uses, the past participle has both active and passive uses. It has a variety of functions in English, but the most familiar uses are in forming the passive voice and in modifying a noun.

past participles: made, been, spoken

Passive voice: The document was signed yesterday.

Modifier: The signed document appeared on my desk yesterday.

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So why should you learn the four principal parts? The principal parts can help you with particularly tricky verbs like "lay" and "lie." They can also aid in the reivising process. If, for example, your instructor remarks that you overuse the passive voice in your writing, a little knowledge about past participles and their functions may help you to recognize problem areas in your paper.


Open Questions

• What are some noteworthy exceptions to the four principal parts schema?



• Are there verbs that do not quite fit this pattern? Why? (of course there are, but that is for another post!)