Are adjectives the enemy of the writer?

Duff (2010) freely available from PhotoBucket

 

The sun sunk in seconds, shimmering and hesitating just above the still waters before it disappeared for the evening.  As it faded it cast its apricot hues through the clouds which hovered low in the sky.

or

A beautiful sunset

Hello Grammophiles

An oft used adage in journalism is that the adjective is the enemy of the writer.  (Voltaire said they were the 'enemy of the noun'; Hemingway said they were the 'weak writer's crutch'.)

For example, I could say 'it's a splendidly gorgeous day today'  (which it is in Adelaide on this December day).   Alternatively, I could say 'the sun is warming my shoulders, glancing off the footpath and illuminating the leaves on the trees'.

Of course, used sparingly and effectively, adjectives can add colour and cleverness to the writing (as indicated by my esteemed colleague Brady, below).  

In academic writing, adjectives can be florid and over-the-top, weakening a set of data or a rational argument.

For example, 'numerous authors argue...'  is weaker than 'Smith (2000), Jones (2003) and Brown (2005) argue...

How does this:

'Smith's (2000) findings were a notable example of how millions of families use social technology.'

Compare with this:

'Smith's (2000) study of 150 households across three continents suggested children between the age of 13 and 18 preferred the use of Facebook, while their parents still tended to use email.'

Which paper, do you think, will attract more marks?

Can you think of more examples where actions speak louder  than words (as the old saying goes)?

Andrea

The Over-Adjectivalization of English?

"Yet when it comes to race, Obama's first year has shown us again and again that race does not matter in America the way it used to. We've come more than a mere long way - we're almost there" ~ John McWhorter

Greetings Grammophiles!

From the quote above, you might think this post is about race. Well, it is only in a roundabout way. Rather, this post is about the words we use when discussing tricky, complicated subjects. Does any phrase strike you as odd in the above quote? Perhaps a word string that requires a second glance just to make sure you read it right? If you selected "mere long way," you and I have a similar filter for grammatical oddities. Here we have two adjectives followed by a noun (mere + long + way), or is it one adjective followed by a noun phrase (mere + long way)? Either the way is long and mere or the long way is mere. To be fair to Mr. McWhorter, who writes for a living (while I just write for a hobby), the contrasting, multi-functional phrase achieves its desired effect. It makes the reader stop and think how exactly far have Americans come in terms of race? What words best describe our progress?

Race is one of those subjects that does not lend itself to simple explanations. It is a tricky, complicated idea that involves biology, sociology, psychology, anthropology, and politics--just to name a few. As a consequence, simple phrases and sentence constructions never quite seem adequate. Complicated subjects require complicated expressions. In this way, "mere long way" seems more poetic than descriptive, but poetry can sometimes create more confusion than understanding. Just ask Ovid, who found himself banished to Tomis on the Black Sea for a few lines about love.

There is a grammar lesson in all of this, I swear. How many adjectives can be strung together and still be "grammatical"? Well, as many as you like, provided that they are all "coordinate" (have relatively similar meanings, for more on this idea see here). Here's an example:

Mr. Q was the biggest, fastest, strongest, smartest, most excellent human being on the planet.

Every adjective relates to Mr. Q's superlative nature in some way. But throw in the word "weakest" anywhere, and we start asking questions. How can he be the fastest but also the weakest? The same principle applies to "long" and "mere," two contrasting expressions, in the same adjective string. How can the way be "mere" but also "long?" Can a "long way" be "mere?"

To his credit, Mr. McWhorter's poetry seems to be catching on. Frank Gardner used the same expression to describe the progress being made by Afghanistan's fledgling army (see here). However, the expression does appear in the same sentence with the phrase, "like a newborn calf struggling to stand up on its feet." Ahh, and they say English majors do nothing but sit and read poetry all day! Well, someone has to figure out these crazy, convoluted simple concepts.

As always,
Brady Spangenberg